I had written these tips for my colleagues at previous workplace. The mail was appreciated by many & hence republishing it on this blog. I will be happy if this exercise helps anyone.
The tips are divided in three sections. For boys, girls & both. These are for a typical Indian family & may not be relevant for other cultures.
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Congratulations !!
I am sharing few tips from my own observations for all of you to make your marriage a grand success.
For the boys:
- Remember that your wife has left everything behind to become a part of your life. Never let her feel lonely.
- Never treat your wife as your personal property. Respect her as an individual.
- If you sow seeds of love, like from a farm land, you will get it back a hundred fold.
- Allow her the right to say ‘No’. Never offend her dignity.
- Never try to be judge in dispute cases between your wife & your mother. Whoever is guilty, YOU will be the looser. If necessary, just listen quietly to both of them separately.
For the girls:
All the tips are on “how to get along better with your mother-in-law”:
- Don’t treat your mother-in-law as your mother. You could probably compare her with the school principal with you as a student. She expects a lot of respect from you & it doesn’t cost you anything.
- Give full credit to her if she has helped any way in making a good dish.
- Never blame her for any failures.
- Praise her in front of others for her kindness & cooking skills etc.
- Despite your best efforts to keep her happy, she may still probably not be pleased. Don’t give up.
- Never engage in confrontation. It doesn’t help.
- Ego’s don’t help. Say sorry if she feels you are wrong.
For both:
- Trust, respect & care for each other will blossom in a never ending love story.
- You need more of each other’s time than anything else. Avoid wasteful expenditure but don’t also be kanjoos. Small pleasures like an occasional movie or a short picnic form long term memories.
- Honour each other’s liking & disliking. Just for example:
- If she doesn’t like your smoking, give it up. It’s a bad habit any way. At least, avoid smoking in front of her & ensure to take a mouth freshener before getting close to her.
- If he doesn’t like your excessive make-up, cut it short. If he likes you as you are, why not?
- Forgive & forget each others’ mistakes. Never dig-up old issues that have been sorted out.
- Try to keep the family intact. Joint families have many more advantages than staying single. Though initially it appears to be otherwise.
Wish you all the very best for your bright future.
Pradeep Agrawal
